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Health Talk Please feel free to post any health related issues here.

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  #1  
Old 23-10-2006, 02:14 PM
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Recently, got one friend confided to me about her problem. My head felt itchy figuring out how to reply. She got two boyfriend, one poor but his "anu" ( u know la) normal, around 7 inches and another boyfriend, got money, but his "anu" only 3 inches and his B-- one big one small. She want the 3 inches one ( kaya) and she asked me if can pregnant or not if that size? So I asked my husband and he said can. Is there a medical treatment for this condition, traditional or modern medicine? He already 30 plus.
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  #2  
Old 23-10-2006, 03:36 PM
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Wow, you've got quite a friend there. The main considerations she has for lifelong happiness is a man's money and the size of his dick. That oughta make for a happy marriage.
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Old 23-10-2006, 03:51 PM
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And the answer to your first question is yes. As long as sperm can be introduced into the vagina, the woman's own secretions will provide a medium for the sperm to travel to the ovum. Difficulty to conceive is generally due to the sperm cells' low count or low activity / vitality (basically they don't wanna swim). And no, delivery of the sperm cells deeper into the birthing canal doesn't mean they have a shorter distance to swim.

So, as long as the dude gets some of his boys indoors, they'll find their own way around unless they are too tired in the first place.

The answer to the second question... got and no need medicine. Your friend just needs to suck much harder and more often, preferably several times a day to encourage the lengthening of the associated muscles.
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Old 23-10-2006, 04:12 PM
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Yes, when it comes to conception, size, i.e. the length in this case, does not matter.

Satisfaction is something else. Carimakan, our expert, would be the best person to answer the question. This reminds me of his collection of hamsup jokes and poems under 'Poem - by Ah Pek'.

http://forum.ipoh.com.my/forum/showt...?t=4770&page=6 No. 58.

There is probably some truth in the joke. The lengthening of the 'anu' works using the process of suction but I doubt the increase would very substantial. Haha...as if speaking like an expert myself.

Maybe you should tell your friend to look for a bf who is both rich and well-endowed.
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Old 23-10-2006, 04:16 PM
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A dominant male silverback gorilla's "anu" is only one inch and he has no problems servicing all the females in his harem and impregnating them Go for the money !!

Your friend get to check out the goods in detail before marriage?

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Last edited by wifiabc : 23-10-2006 at 04:23 PM.
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  #6  
Old 23-10-2006, 04:31 PM
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Default The matter of size with men

This topic was posted under the ‘Poem – By Ah Pek’ on 13/10/06 #85




Today I am going to touch the man's fav tool.

Man, er, i mean, men, is a peculiar creature. They like to have big things. They like big cars, big houses, big motorcycles, big muscles, big kukuchiaos. This peculiarity isn't acquired. They didn't become that way because of some military style training. Nobody taught them to be that way. Not their parents, not their teachers. They were born that way. God made them that way. Circumstances and environments while growing up might change them a little bit, but instinctively, they like things big.

Circumstances might prevent him from driving a big car or live in a big house, but then secretly, they will yearn. They will fantasize. While to many it will remain just that, a fantasy, others who have made it makes it a reality. Me, being a man, still can't tell you why it is that way. We feel superior driving a car that's bigger than the Jones. We feel greater living in a house bigger than the Smiths. But all this is superficial. The most important thing that has got to be big to a man, is his kukuchiao. If he believes that his kkc is smaller than the average guy, he is doomed. They feel inferior. They become subdued. Their self confidence goes over the roof. They are not a real man.

If you have 4 guys lined up in a public toilet doing their excretion of liquid waste, their eyes will inadvertently steal a peep at the guy next to them, trying to get a look at his kkc, wanting to make a comparison. The guys that are bold enough to do his passing in a common urinal, has a certain level of confidence that their kkc is up to standard. When you see a guy who refuses to pull down his zippers and lined up with the rest, but rather wait with a bursting bladder for the single toilet room, that is occupied, don't wonder why. He has something that he doesn’t want to show.

This is the men's weakest point. Fortunes have been lost due to this weakness. Empires have vanquished by enemies capitalising on this weakness. It is the root of all downfalls of all the great men in history. All because of this small organ in the men's body known as the kukuchiao! Have a lady tell a man that he has the biggest and hardest kkc that she has ever seen, he will jump off the plane for her. Have a lady crooning in his ears that he is the best fark she ever had, he will sign over his fortune to her. Evil schemes to have a lady seducing an emperor have resulted in changing of dynasties. All because of that itchified KUKUCHIAO!!!

So men of this world, let's get together and stop this weakness. The primary usage of this particular organ extruding from our lower abdomen is for us to screw and make babies. A baby made by a 12 inch kkc will be no smarter than one made by a 3 inch one. Urine passed out from a 12 inch kkc will not taste better than a 3 inch one. Let's get this fact into our thick and numb skull. The KKC is for, number 1. screwing. Number 2, pissing. That's it! It don't have to be big for these two primary functions
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Old 23-10-2006, 04:33 PM
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Default kkc no longer neither

Kris recommended reading this one, from 'Poem - By Ah Pek" thread!

Young Man: Blardy hell Ah Pek! You really take me to Holland lah.

Ah Pek: Why…? What happened?

Young Man: Nyah Ma.. you tell me use vacuum cleaner suck my ku ku chiao can make it longer? Where can?! I try 3 days already also never see got get long? Now my ku ku chiao very painful. Want to ta fei kei also cannot.

Ah Pek: Kakakaaaakkaaa…….. yes meh?? Aiyo 3 days only what. Where got so fast one? Must wait 3 months lah.

Young Man: Huh, 3 months… 3 months my ku ku chiao also drop off already I think. You really big cannon lah.

Ah Pek: I big cannon you for what….?

Young Man: If not why my ku ku chiao so painful one?

Ah Pek: How high you turn your vacuum cleaner?

Young Man: No. 3 lah. Top speed.

Ah Pek: Haiyooo.. where can like that. Must slow slow lah. You one shot wan to suck it long long where can? Use no.1 lah.

Young Man: Oooh… like that one ah. Barger, don bluff me again you know.

Ah Pek: Haiyoo..told you before I don simply bluff people one what.

Young Man: Ei, Ah Pek, Ah Pek, my class hor, got one very beautiful girl you know, but everytime I see her also I very shy to talk to her lah. Can teach me how to tackle her ah?

Ah Pek: Last time you told me you like Mat salleh only?

Young Man: Yalah.. but this girl very hot wor, ta fei kei also I think of herlah!

Ah Pek: Oh, like that means you wan to fark her only lah. Not because she very good or anything lah. Aiyaa.. very easy what. Ask her nicely lor.

Young Man: How nicely?

Ah Pek: Tomorrow morning when you meet her in school that time, just go up and ask “May I fark you please…?” You ask nicely like that hor, she sure give you one lah.
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  #8  
Old 23-10-2006, 04:36 PM
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Default How to maintain a healthy kkc

From ‘Poem – By Ah Pek’ thread #88

How to maintain a healthy kkc.


Someone said I have a very healthy ku ku. So healthy that I can ring a Santa's bell with it. I bet many of you will be wondering how my ku ku can be so fit and strong. Tell you the truth, I wasn't born that way nor did it happen overnight. It came to this stage through rigorous training and strict discipline. Today I shall share with you all my secret training techniques and recipes that was passed down to me by my ancestors. Train at your own risk. Afterwards if your ku ku refuses to lift up its head that time, don't come crying to me. I no diu 9 you wan.

The ku ku is just a piece of oversized cartilage and muscle. To increase its size and fitness, it needs exercise. Experts have proven that to increase the size of muscles, you need to do weight training. That is what we are going to do. Weight training for the ku ku.

Go get some iron bars the size of your middle finger. Cut them to 3 pieces the length of your ku ku. Use masking tape or Handyplast, wrap this 3 piece of metal bars around your ku ku. Go trampoline jumping for 1/2 an hour daily with this wrap-up. Leave the metal bars strapped on until it becomes part of you. Until you don't feel the weight anymore. Remove the tape and add in more bars and go over the same routine for at least 6 months. Keep adding more bars until you have achieved an ideal weight of 50 kilos hanging on your ku ku. If you don't feel the weight of 50 kilos hanging in front of you, you will be deemed successful. Remove all the iron bars to see a wonderfully new, big and healthy ku ku chiao!

After you have achieved your dream ku ku, you must be able to maintain it. This recipe will do wonders in maintaining the new ku ku.



Ingredients:
1. 1 full pig's cheebai (fresh, leave it uncut)
2. 1 full sized bull's ku ku ciao. (fresh, also leave it uncut)
3. American and Korean Ginseng (5:5 ratio)
4. African abalone (king size)
5. TongKat Ali

6. One big bottle '3 whip tiger bone' wine. Snake tonic also can. (available at all chinese medical shop)
7. Salt to taste.

Cara memasak:
Simple only! Just dump everything inside a big claypot and let it simmer for 36 hours until the pig cheebai and the bull ku ku becomes soft and succulent.

Cara makan:
to be taken twice a week, before going to bed.

See? A Pek so good. Share with you my best kept secret. How are you guys going to repay me?

And I repeat. TRAIN AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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  #9  
Old 23-10-2006, 04:48 PM
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Default Make kkc Longer

From 'Poem - By Ah Pek' thread #103

Young Man: Ah Pek, you very experience, can tell me something ah? My cock very short lah. How to make it longer?

Ah Pek: Haiyah,, young man, you wan your cock so long for what? You think the chee bai got so deep meh?

Young Man: Nolah.. I see in the video hor, all the matsalleh got long long cock one. My one only 4 inches, next time how to make my wife shiok?

Ah Pek: chinese cock got 4 inches enough already what. Chinese chee bai also about 4 inches deep only one. Don worry lah.

Young Man: Then if I wan to marry mat salleh how? 4 inches where got enough? Please lah, teach me lah.

Ah Pek: Waaa… wan to marry Mat salleh somemore. You can kau tim or not? Mat Salleh very hungry one you know. One night 3 times also not enough. You can tahan ah?

Young Man: Eeei, no problem lah. 5 times also can. Scared not long enough only.

Ah Pek: Hmmm.. like that hor. Ok, you go home, use your mother’s vacumn cleaner and suck you ku ku chiao for 5 minutes every morning. After 3 months sure tambah 2 inches one.

Young Man: Like that also can meh? Don’t bluff me wor.

Ah Pek: Nolah, Ah Pek where got simply bluff people one.
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  #10  
Old 23-10-2006, 05:34 PM
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Default Mr virgin

Ok, I got some leads from your feedback. So, basically, ur saying that his anu remain 3 inches until now because he is not sexually active yet. Well then, how many men still virgin at 30 plus? According to my friend, his former girlfriends left him when he told them about his anu. Even to my friend, he only show a picture of his anu not physically yet. He is serious about her and considering marriage. That's why, he wants to her to be mentally prepared by telling her the truth beforehand. For malay men, usually they just go to the bomon urut but the effect is not immediate.
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