hi Makcik Yugi.
about the hate part and keeping it to yourself. it merely meant that if you hate someone and cant make it go away, then keep the hate inside you (as in, shut up) and dont let it affect individual/societal relationship.
hope i explained it right. it is not about keeping grudges or a festering hostility inside your heart.
that is why even bad-mouthing or showing displeasure/hate is deemed to bring harm to the person.
basically, given time once a person cools down and have thought much on the matter, many a hate would go away...
seeking forgiveness from our own self? yes, that's true.
in a way, once you acknowledge that you are at fault, it is a self-healing (or forgiving) act.
seeking forgiveness from that person itself is islam's requirement due to its emphasis on social relationship and fairness (especially after you have harmed the person). so for muslims, one has no choice. one must go to the person and seek his forgiveness. that act is enough. whether he forgives or not, is not one's concern anymore. that would be the other person's concern now.
more alertness? i agree.
i always thought that by being patient, a person thinks before he acts. with that, he would be more aware of his emotions (which is the first thing he would do had he not paused to think first).
but each of us has his own style/understanding, i would say.
no need for thanks. i am learning from all of you too.